I like to pretend I'm complex. So that way When I inevitably remain human I'll have twice the excuses. I like to play with mirrors And look deep into the stacking tunnels of dimension And pretend for the first time ever I am afraid of myself. This is more entertaining than the truth.

Absent fear

absent fears,
Which rug have you been swept under?
It has been far too long since I've seen the shadow,
Of my ego,
Swarming the decour.
And falling like flies.
Absent fears,
I don't think I miss you.
Because the bliss of being
so goddamn tired
Keeps me on the lighter side.
Absent fears,
Timid and aging,
Wine stored,
Cork down.
Breaking down,
The smaller elements.
Producing, a bitter, chalky taste.
Absent fears,
I think its arrousing,
To sit in my room,
Cursing your figures-
So clearly mooning my thoughts.
You flip me off, and show me no mercy.
You fuck around,
And come home late.
Right before I'm sleeping,
Curled up, so content,
You shake my body ill,
You remind me of that evil,
You remind me of splintered glass,
You remind me of death,
You remind me of life
You remind me of love, now gone.
You remind me of pain.
You remind me I love.
You remind me I'm ill.
You remind me I'm hilarious.
You remind me I'm insane.
You remind me I'm a woman.
You remind me I'm a snake.
You remind me I am hysterical.
You remind me of sleepless nights.
You remind me of my love.
My love.
Which first rendered you absent.
Kept you in a jail,
And starved you,
Fear.
You died,
While all else grew.
And I am a sleeping giant.
Filled with miles of dreams.
I am so loved,
And in love.
So you are now. Absent.
Fear.

Night

There is night in your eyes, Midnight strolls, and distant lights.

fall&i

I believe in beautiful things,
I recognize them,
always appearing,
somewhere less than fragrant,
molding floors,
slipping into patterns of palm trees,
burying my brain in tropical woe is me mourning,
but this morning?
it was a bright morning,
a bright morning,
I spent cradling the leaf which landed on your arm,
and it remains,
gold as ever.
I want to kiss it,
I want to kiss you,
and it's quiet now,
now that all those puppets were silenced,
now that all my strings have been cut.
I'm alone,
in my head,
it's just me now.
in my bed,
holding you like a child holds a pile of leaves,
ready to pounce,
I want you to be all over me.
I want you to be the reason I crave fall,
for forever.
Yes, that's a long time,
but there are miles of you,
miles and miles of you,
I must find answers for,
answers for blushing kisses,
and fragile gazes,
I don't forget them at all.
In fact they lay on my ceiling,
I instantly projected them there,
upon noticing,
I was sitting in the middle of a moment called love.
I painted a picture,
and I can't get rid of it.
there are colors,
gleaming.
I wish you could see how dark I've been.
Because this moves me to tears.
And those tears are blue,
and I am feeling all this,
this happiness,
this fear of loss,
this heart, now beating.
I know I've tried deeply,
to forget the odd of the seasons,
for some reason,
while deeply ruined,
I reached for you,
maybe it was your eyes,
never strange,
not from mine.
maybe it was because
we wept once,
for one another,
before we even touched.
I heard silence in static,
found confusion in my routinely devoured love,
while you gave me hope,
the fog of past,
rallied its droplets, and
drenched my hands,
in gasoline,
I never wanted you to be there when the fire broke out,
when the match lit.
I fractured branches,
charcoaled trust,
splintered precious things,
I know that,
I see them at my feet,
before I sleep.
And it's morning,
So early.
And you're here,
rising above all that dust and decay,
you're a beautiful moment happening,
in a beautiful setting,
nothing but gold peaking through the shades,
lacing your outline,
growing in my mind,
framed by the slits of my eyes.
I want you to know,
I see you now.
something I won't lose,
I won't lose again.
I don't even want to blink.
but it's early,
so early,
with the scent of coffee in the air.
You're sleeping.
here.
You hate coffee.
Sleeping,
yes,
I need to be sleeping,
so I close my eyes,
but I can't keep them there,
I don't think dreaming even knows
how to construct this
safety.
No, not even dreams can construct safety
without illusions.
I'm awake.
I'm awake
and
I want to be.

READERS!

Hello readers, browsers, or anyone in between, this week I'm doing something new, and I really dig it. I'm putting some wonderful writers from my town up on my blog. I personally grow as a writer when I hear something, or read something of someone elses. It's a truly wonderful thing to encourage and to support! So read up! I should have a few more coming in soon! Also, if you feel so inspired after reading some of these poets words, send me some of your thoughts! Some of your poems or anything else! Tell your friends, it's a great thing to see & share!
much love friends,
-Olivia

I saw a child,
wandering.
She had sand
caked in her fluffy dress.
She picked up daisies,
and removed petals,
not knowing
in 10 years,
she'd be asking those petals
if he loved her,
or loved her not.
But for now,
the only man
she would love
was her father,
he sat on a bench
at the edge of a cliff,
thinking in the colors of fear,
he thought red,
he thought black,
he thought gray.
He thought about how stupid games were,
and why he ever thought a daisy meant shit.

Garden

I lit a candle,
and set it in my garden.
I watched the ladybugs worship their new found light.
They grew to the size of tomatoes,
And forgot about the dark.
They sang love songs to the birds,
longing for the day they would soon fly into the sun.