Let him eat cake

I was walking around with stains caked to my skin,

you call them scars...But I know where the truth lies, 

the truth lies when it comes from your mouth. 

You'd kiss them til they felt better, 

Until the truth was lying all over my body.

I asked you if the pain you felt was real,

You lied and said the pain you felt was mine.

So the truth lies in pieces,

pieces all over my floor.

I used to pick them up,

lie there in shame,

I let your lies, lie in shame.

I shook hands with my first love

I shook hands with my first love,

we were occasionally intimate,

It was beautiful,

we would cradle our hands between our stomachs.

Laugh in the face of  the departure of love.

Some nights when life goes how it does

I would cry on his shoulder,

and when he found out I was real,

he shook his other hand,

and loved himself more.

Star wars

I sit like a snap dragon, leaning on a fence.
blending with the prickly brown wood,
marking up my white shirt.
If I will the night to come,
maybe it will come quickly.
"Quickly". Sour, crab-monster word.
If time moved as fast as I wanted,
I'm sure I'd be dead.
When night finally arrives,
I can see a flash of light probing the moon.
Aliens watch our independence day,
oohing and aweing at the misfortune of the burdened stars.
And like Reagan,
I only wanted Star Wars to be a reality.

Nourishment

Lemony sun, I have rested in your zest.

you buttered my skin with a sultry sweat

and like a violent roach, I run for shade.

Fall, it brings loops and swirls to my heart

the season blossoms, and regurgitates summers bliss.

Keeping my hands in it's warm embrace, a leaf appears.

I pick it up, if leaves were made of metal

I would surround myself in their cool buildings.

cool to the touch, not the sound.

my imagination, once pale and hardly weaned,

repeats the same thing to me,

nourishment.

so like a wilting flower,

I lean towards the sun.

reminding me that shadows should never be slept in.

Away from love

Things I dreamt about in my pile of normal;

my black and white existence, 

my palace of average, 

were bleak re runs of lives I'd seen lived before.

you slipped your hand in my one size fits all soul

and when your fingers were dripping,

saturated with who I am, and who I've been

the misery of being away from you

over powers and overwhelms any beautiful place

I may be.

burn

The night sky

what a thing.

You're asleep.

and I can just picture

the beauty that lies on your bed.

how lucky the sheets are

that hold you,

and if they knew anything.

they'd hold you tight.

I made the mistake of letting you go.

so I lie in my bed, glaring at the sheets of my own.

They glow red, even in the darkness.

because that's the color I chose.

I chose red sheets, because they match my red walls.

Because I love the color red.

And in my own fascination of 

things pretty and bold.

I lie still, hating my hands for ever letting go of yours.

I realize that my obsession for things red, and gorgeous 

is none other than my love for heat.

I realize I am in love with things that will burn me.

I grow tired of my usual,

so I try something new and head for the door.

I reach for the handle, and my skin feels cool.

and after barrels and barrels

of sweat drips from my red hot room

my forehead quickly returns to skin, 

and I fall in love with the cloudy night sky.

I have the urge to dance in the rain

but I have forgotten my rain dance, 

so I sit in the most naked area I can find.

I fall in love with the exposure of wind,

and the sexy night sounds.

and my ridiculous obsession is cured.

For once, I find blue beautiful.

I start touching nothing, 

just lifting my hands into the air.

and for once, I enjoy nothing but beauty.

and for once, something beautiful does not burn me.

add ick.

And so the addiction begins

the addiction I find among your very mouth

the cancer you've poured into me, 

it kills anything I once was

and it thrills me to know

that in this lifetime

you've let me lay in your open arms.

Run, because we're the last people that make sense.

Close my eyes, because I want you to still be the last thing I see.

You are the intensity of the sun,

Burning small images.

dots and grains

the same ones that spell out your name

in the light fixtures

they copy the sun.

Mess

god damn his lantern-esq smiles.

Lighting up the still night, under the blank canvas.

Melting my fingers into some sort of nicotine mess,

He doesn't know me, no, not yet.

 

Ugly

ugly: I let myself go, and I guess he didn't love that part of me. the natural me, is so ugly is so ugly covered up. maybe I'm ugly ugly because no one told me I wasn't. maybe I let myself go, because I had no where else to be.