You, tah-tah!

I have leaned against the railing of my deck.

half way falling over the side,

I keep waiting for you to comment on my positioning-

Only, I am greeted with the oh-so familiar, "as of late" silence.

I'm not okay with not being okay.

At least when you were here, someone was grieving stupidity like me.

stupidity, such as me.

And on nights when you saw me

carelessly becoming young again,

rebirthing innocence in the form of

makeup, curlers and 300 wardrobe changes.

When you watched me get stood up

for the fiftieth time,

I should have known.

he was stupid then.

While you walked street to street,

at 12 pm.

arriving at home

to play with me in the snow,

(to wake me up, to play in the snow.)

we shivered and talked about

who was stupid then.

And now

you might as well be 3049 billion miles away.

I know there wasn't much I could do,

you leaving was so exciting.

one of us was getting out.

at least one of us would get out.

and maybe I'm starting to realize

I was stupid.