I know

I think it's best

I just hold my breath

and wait for the sunrise.

oh pretty bird

The cologne dripping off the curves of your nose

reminds me of a young viper, unable to sweat.

Unable to lust for simplicity and abnormalities.

At least in your eyes.

At least in your eyes I was foreign enough to make a difference.

Even when vision was dulled by watery grief.

I still could see.

Even when the taste in my mouth

was not an exotic salt I retrieved from the ocean,

it was my own.

I still could taste.

At least in your eyes I was safe.

Part of me understood that you would disappear,

that you would pack your emotional baggage

and leave me destitute.

desert me, because that's what they all do.

A momentary lapse of happiness-

ruined who I am now.

But the ruins of me, expand my palace.

I experienced happiness

so much, that now, in my moments of despair,

I don't want to feel a thing.

Yet I continue to feel.

I'm sure when a western wind blows

blows through your planned out skin,

my bastard eyes will appear.

appear and pierce the part of you

that knew, there was so much more to gold

than just its temptress color.

but throw that away now.

Because the package she comes in

is rich with perks.

I was hardly ready to be kept in a box

and tied tight with a pretty bow.

I have legs that extend to the farthest places

and I demand they be stretched.

You wait now,

with the security of food,

and shelter

in your beautiful cage.

Sing when they ask, you

"pretty bird."

And when they trim your wings,

it will be too late to fly.

But if the sun gets too hot,

I can promise you one thing

I will cast my shadow

and keep you cooled

while you try and chew through the bars

that keep you from living,

Living

like me.

Lillies

It's getting dark out, and the raindrops are blurring into lights,and unholy figures. I'm blind in the dark, mostly because I cover my eyes, I never know what is lurking in the shield of it all... But I could find this in the dark. I know the face so well, the curves of lips, and the center of a smile. The feeling this presence gives me, the mold that vanishes from my heart when it's near. The moment I begin to breathe like I was taking my first breath. That's when this surrounds me, that's when the color becomes every spectrum of the crystal reflection, and fills my beige world full of beauty.

I have never been more awake.

6:46

I pity pessimists with their glasses half empty

sitting on the yellow side of the hill

while I dance on the greener side,

Gorging myself with the rich nectar my half full glass holds.

I hear too much about how

The cold weather makes it harder on everyone who suffers

and with the gusts of winds, and the random rain storms,

anyone who hurts at all, will only hurt worse as the weather worsens.

wake up and realize

that the sun is always on the other side of those troubling clouds.

and brightness, though sometimes dulled,

is forever,

it may take seasons,

but you will find it, always, and again.

I know that you're reading this

because you loved me

even when I was in a creative slump.

and now that my mind is swirling with creation.

you love me still.

NV

It seems like every where I go

there is a street sign telling me where I belong.

I've driven 100 miles to escape the pollution of my city.

Only to find myself breathing harder

and farther away from my own bed.

I was ready to leave such a terrible town,

filled with has beens, and let downs.

Finally I arrive, I arrive to destination,

and to conclusions.

Nevada isn't where you keep your lover,

it's where you keep your booze.

Fathers breaking laws with their daughters,

secrets become delectable.

Oh nevada, I've never been bound for you

I just showed up

we all just kinda...

showed up.

The view of flat desert

topped with snow peeked mountains melting in sin.

From my suite hotel on the 18th floor,

viewing the spirits flow

from within terrible health inspected buildings.

oh nevada,

such a whore

I just happened to show up.

and you,

breathe me in.

Now this,

I pray when my fingers ache.

My hands crumble into position,

my weak existence ruptures,

and I discover what it truly means to be alone.

Do not pity me,

I have been illuminated

set free in a world gone mad with numb.

I have felt too much pain,

to not recognize when I don't feel at all.

I spend days high,

laughing because the creases in my mouth

remember that first,

remember that before the curves of a fermented frown

captures the nerves in my body

and appears.

Oh it's there, the pain is there...

Let me be the first to tell you.

Take a seat,

and we can talk about ruins and ruins,

and bridges I've blown up, just to swim.

I amaze myself.

I torture myself.

Sundeath

I no longer remember the sunrise as a passing sun,

but as a que to turn off my mind.

It rarely happens.

I rarely am alone.

Hooked on Phonics

I know the type,

Sitting in the corner of my classes,

gathering pencil scraps to set my only escape,

on fire.

Carving initials of prettier names into the underbelly of seats

Wishing the crusted gum would come together in a steel like manor

to silence the squeaks of so much burden.

Yes, I know the type.

Candle opera

Life should be observed by candle light.

Imperfections disappear in mood lighting.

Spring

I never wanted to be perfect,

I just wanted love.

I fell into an oak, and woke up speaking in poetry

I am a rapid fire lust machine.

Beautiful things make my spine melt into waxy figurines,

they glisten in the passion of my spring heat.

Reminding the sun that I remain

the beautiful light in the transition of season.

I am the forensic in an unsolvable case,

setting the truth at ease,

then letting the restless

rest in peace.

I am a goodnight in a forests hallway.

tall, unbelievable tree skies.

oaking my mind with splintered dreams,

they wither within my skin,

and call my cells home.

I have cured a handsome cat of his ego,

by stroking his mind instead of his head.

And in his misery of discovering who he truly was

he purred his last tale, and ceased to exist.

I am terribly delicious,

ruining the alleged "vanished" sexism,

and giving men something to dream about.

I am above the ecosystem,

beyond the things you called to warn me about.

I am justice with a vengeance.

something you can't live without.

The beautiful things I say,

melt you into another piece of me

I will eventually recycle, and sweat away.

Sweat away in the heat of my spring,

sweat away in the mechanical breakdown

of my listless, and lustful retreat.

My mechanical innards,

they spew jasmine songbirds

into the pupil of your heart

illuminating the creation of love,

and turning you into

another minion of mine.

another sweet nothing

to dote about in the winter,

when all my romance has run dry.

When my mechanical lust

turns to lifeless rust.