shipment: marked unshippable

There's a heavy scent of misleading charm in the air.

it chokes the passer-byers.

they fan their faces and glare at the source.

I never knew

they were glaring at me.

I guess I'm not vain enough to think

anyone would take the time to hate me.

Then again,

I'm vain enough to assume

they wouldn't.

I am an addictive riot.

taking place in the library

filled with wit, and silent punches.

They must know-

I want to take great pride in destroying beautiful things.

and when I'm at the peak of my destruction

I grow a concieous.

and it tells me,

I'm no good.

and while it whispers unspoken truths

I am the girl

you want to rescue.

but I just want to sink.

They flutter to me like misguided misfits.

and I am just sick enough to be worshipped.

I can see you all.

you can stop shaking your heads.

you can stop telling me

why you're qualified to fuck me.

because that's all this small talk is,

right?

I wake up to your voices

I wake up to your laughter.

Explain to me who I was last night.

Because I swear on everything,

I have no clue where I've been.

I heard them knocking on that door last night.

I heard him calling my name-

while he was.

while he was tilting his head

to match the lean of my own.

but I can hear them all clawing at the door.

"But wait, we're 24 hour soulmates."

They call my name,

and soon enough,

it's the soundtrack of the night.

I never knew

the symphonic synching

of two voices

screaming my name

could be the choral death of my ego.

I lay in rusty sheets,

and shake the dust off my lust.

and all I wanted to do

was be queen for the night.

be the talk of the town

for all the wrong reasons again.

"you're perfect."

I know.

"You're enchanting."

I know.

"You're captivating."

I know.

trust me.

I didn't want to find out this way.

I didn't want you to either.

but remember when you walked in on me

shouting at the mirror?

that was me,

that was me.

"You're out of control."

I know.

"You're losing it."

I know.

"You're a liar."

I know.