Absent fear

absent fears,
Which rug have you been swept under?
It has been far too long since I've seen the shadow,
Of my ego,
Swarming the decour.
And falling like flies.
Absent fears,
I don't think I miss you.
Because the bliss of being
so goddamn tired
Keeps me on the lighter side.
Absent fears,
Timid and aging,
Wine stored,
Cork down.
Breaking down,
The smaller elements.
Producing, a bitter, chalky taste.
Absent fears,
I think its arrousing,
To sit in my room,
Cursing your figures-
So clearly mooning my thoughts.
You flip me off, and show me no mercy.
You fuck around,
And come home late.
Right before I'm sleeping,
Curled up, so content,
You shake my body ill,
You remind me of that evil,
You remind me of splintered glass,
You remind me of death,
You remind me of life
You remind me of love, now gone.
You remind me of pain.
You remind me I love.
You remind me I'm ill.
You remind me I'm hilarious.
You remind me I'm insane.
You remind me I'm a woman.
You remind me I'm a snake.
You remind me I am hysterical.
You remind me of sleepless nights.
You remind me of my love.
My love.
Which first rendered you absent.
Kept you in a jail,
And starved you,
Fear.
You died,
While all else grew.
And I am a sleeping giant.
Filled with miles of dreams.
I am so loved,
And in love.
So you are now. Absent.
Fear.