let this be free

There is no pace to love,

it is harsh, it is cold, its the wind,

whipping my naked back,

I can still feel the red wounds

filtering out the pain,

to leave me with minor satisfaction.

Leaving me, worried that I may end up craving more.

He didn't believe in God,

and I think that's what kept our love so intimate.

He never compared me to the grace of a higher anything.

We'd stay cradled in my room,

never questioning why we were put here,

always knowing that

we just were.

He never sighed during dull moments,

he only searched for a way out.

I never blamed him for leaving me,

I always knew he would.

Like the mornings he'd leave for work,

trying not to wake me,

he'd break the binds our legs had created

entangled in one.

I'd feel his skin lightly graze over my own,

due to lack of sheets,

due to lack of blankets,

I would shiver at the presumption

that maybe he wasn't planning on leaving at all,

maybe he was going to stay and keep me warm.

Maybe, we'd forget our civic duties,

our moral obligations,

and just live.

But in swift movements,

stealthy, and holy,

he'd spring to his feet,

kiss my eyelids,

and although I protested,

he would always leave.

I should have known then,

nothing gold, ever stays.

I should have known, I was the ripple

I was the ripple that would destroy the calm lull in his springs.

And he hurts me,

so much that I can hardly breathe,

So much that I forgot what it means

to be whole.

He hurt me,

called to me,

and destroyed my name

until I could no longer feel the joys,

of standing naked in a hallway.

Let this be free,

rid of me,

let love,

be rid of me.