He loved me, years ago.

I tried to take my life,
in my mothers bed.
I laid in the sage green blanket,
and closed my eyes,
I fell asleep,
picturing her arms wrapped around me.
I slept so soundly,
it was finally over,
all moments silenced,
all regrets
were pasted upside down,
and erased.
until she arrived home.
When she saw me,
lying in her bed,
she crawled next to me,
and stroked my hair.
this I remember,
because it was the stroke
which brought me back to life.
I opened my eyes,
and thought I was staring into my own,
but it was just her,
looking into mine,
until she realized,
something was not right with her baby.
She screamed,
and lifted me from the bed,
I closed my eyes,
because I knew I was safe.
Safe from myself,
safe from him,
and all reasons to become overwhelmed.
I hear clouded sounds,
and see nothing.
Just the feel of cold water striking my face.
Just the pleas to god,
just the phone call to poison control.
the phone call to my brother,
the cries of my uncle,
the rage of my mother.
The feel of her hand bruising my face.
The tilt of my brain as I fell back into nothing.
The flowers that blossomed and consumed my brain
like jade ivy,
weaving its way in and out of my body.
In the arms of my mother,
I rested my hand against her cheek,
I aked for my grandmother,
but she had passed years ago.
My mother asked for me to hold on,
but I had passed years ago.
When I finally arrived
at destination nothingness,
I felt my body clam up,
my brain hault,
and for once it was beautiful to not remember.
it was a sunset in a hallow life.
it reminded me how it felt,
to have a whole heart.
And when I awoke the next morning.
To the eyes of my family,
I cursed their names
for ever letting me return.